Japanese cuisine

Manboo is doing it`s best to see off its rivals by giving customers an oxymoronically named `SoyJoy` bar when they come in. I haven`t dared taste it yet. I`ve had too much weirdness already this week. Tuesday night I went for my regular `how to bag a foreigner` session with Kaori and Yukako and was offered the most unnecessary food on the menu. I had requested we go somewhere quite nice as I wanted as much Japanese food as I could get before my trip back to England on Sunday. They were quite excited and ordered flying fish sashimi, which was wonderful, and some various other bits and bobs, including chicken gizzards yakitori and `soft bone` yakitori - what seemed to be skewers of fowl back bones. Japanese chefs are quite efficient when it comes to carving up a chicken, they often serve up what we would toss into the bin.

Kaori and Yukako again amazed me with their dating ettiquete. Kaori could not believe my taste in saying a fellow teacher called Alex was quite cute, but was still actively stalking him in spite of her low opinion of his looks and his character not being to her taste. She also couldn`t understand why I might quite like a date with Takakun, while not being madly, obsessively in love with him... Yukako stole the night by asking how many times you need to have seen a man before he might consider it a relationship, not imagining that having seen Rob six times in a month probably had him patting himself on the back for his own outstanding achievement. Kaori dropped her head into her hands in disbelief at this moment, while I was left to explain the situation. I feel like a teenage exchange student at times.

I did manage to put across my point of view that sleeping is not a hobby (so many of my students say this, it is utterly depressing) and now Kaori is going to tell people that going to the toilet is her hobby. I suggested cleaning her teeth as an more ladylike alternative, but it isn`t seen as a necessity here so lacks the same clout in the punchline. I also taught them, something I am not overly proud of, `sloppy seconds`. Kaori intends to use it if any of Yukako`s other cast-offs try it on with her. They taught me that there are no alcoholics in Japan. It is fine to call your friends `alchos` as it is not a serious problem, and therefore a joke. In America there are serious alcohol problems, as they have clinics... Red-faced, sozzled salarymen weaving along platforms, supping Asahi at 10am and occasionally toppling under trains is not a serious concern.

On Thursday, Sachiko used her `topics` to denounce my appalling behaviour on Saturday. I had invited her out to a small get-together of my mainly Japanese friends in the King George and later that night found a message from her saying she`d tried to come in, but couldn`t find me. I assumed she hadn`t bothered and this was a feeble lie to cover her tracks, but it seems not. Each of the students take turns to read their prepared topics, Hidako`s on her trip to Los Angeles and Takako`s on her stay in China, and Sachiko became quite grave as she started to read hers. It was a ridiculous guilt-trip and attack on my manners, although I wasn`t quite sure what she expected of me, but much of the story involved her needing consoling from her husband and daughter-in-law. The other students just laughed and thought she`d been into the wrong bar, but eventually I managed to get her to say she had got to the door and not even opened it to look inside. As I was in the basement, I had no reception so her calling and standing in the street was pointless. I am meeting them for dinner later (I think I am getting to finally try eel!) and intend to redress the whole situation and educate them on the traditional English pub.

It`s the countdown to my brief return to England. I fly on Sunday, so really ought to be packing now. My room is in complete disarray with a suitcase hidden somewhere under a year`s worth of clothes. I do have my new cheek pillow safely placed in my hand-luggage, but that is the firmest step I have taken so far. I am dreading the flight, but looking forward to going home. I certainly won`t miss the small porch that doubles as my kitchen or the `retro` washing-machine that swills my clothes around in cold water and old dirt. Half my case is going to be full of laundry.