Ugh

Happy birthday to me. Yesterday I hit the most boring age on the most boring day - 28 on a Wednesday - can it get any more dull? It was, though, a lovely day. I went to the all you can eat Chinese for lunch with Sabrina, Scott and Jennie, was guest of honour at a weird special meeting (to welcome Emma into the role of Mike's PA - which was skirted over quite briefly, to thank me for being PA, to wish me well for whenever I leave for Japan and to say happy birthday - I also got Rachel's bon voyage by proxy) and got mildly drunk on two glasses of fizz in the 12th floor meeting room before going to meet Jo, who was flown in for a job interview that the interviewer didn't bother to attend.

We got nicely drunk in the Endurance and even managed to leave at a reasonably sensible time (1.30am, I think) and then, after having a bit of a dance to Mary J Blige at the 159 bus stop, I fell asleep on the bus, safe in the knowledge that Streatham was the last stop. Unfortunately, I had been mistaken and woke up in a place called New Addington - a Surrey housing estate somewhere beyond Croydon - with a Japanese man draped down one side of my body and his hand on my leg and so had to walk to Croydon to get a bus with a young drum 'n' bass fan called Richard, who peppered the conversation with tales of his run-ins with the law. It was either that or stay at the bus stop with the weird Japanese. I was almost going to stay at Richard's house as his parents were away and he was tempting me with talk of late night snacks and cups of tea - he mentioned a fabled 24-hour shop that could provide the goods (he already had the milk) - but after walking for over 40 minutes and still being no nearer I started to panic at not knowing where I was and a bus turned up just as I was about to lose control of my paranoia! I finally made it home to bed at 4am, but did manage to squeeze in another tribute to the soul hip hop queen between the bus stop and home.

I must not fall asleep on the bullet train.

I now feel positively vile. It was only the need to scrape the thick, foul-tasting paste from my mouth and the draw of a ham and brie poppy-seed roll (the ingredients for which were stored in the work fridge) that got me out of bed and into the office this morning. Greed can be such a great motivator.