A fine Ryu-mance

Ryu-san wasn`t showcasing a blistering sense of humour when he referred to our date as the English-Japanese lesson. After the film (Brothers Grimm; all appearance and no substance - although, if you like bookish, bespectacled geeks, Heather Ledger is worth the ticket price alone. Otherwise, only go if accompanied by a responsible 13-year-old), we went back to Ryu`s and out came a pencil and paper! It was useful, to a point - I am not sure how often I will need to refer to the Bulgarian sumo champion Koto-oshu. I did get to practice `make me warm` in his far too cold flat (with all this technology, where is the central heating?! I would risk my pipes bursting in an earthquake for one evening in warmth and comfort at a sensible price). We went via the supermarket, where I got to `sample` foods I`d already eaten (Dairy Milk, bagels, Camembert...) to stave off the groaning hunger I`d subjected myself to by politely refusing popcorn because I was on a date (I don`t know why I do this - they will see me eat like a famished roughian soon enough - it will only lead to greater shock this way!).

Somehow on my last trip, I had not visited the bathroom. In Japan, matching toilet seat, toilet roll and cistern covers are de rigour, preferrably in a cutesey kiddies` design, like Hello Kitty, or, for the more discerning toileteer, Elle or such like. Ryu greeted me as I left the toilet (how relaxing) to check my impression of his animal print decor. Cheetah, apparently.

The date generally went well, Ryu`s English is coming on quite nicely (perhaps it`s all those American movies he has to sit through - I actually found myself enjoying the Matrix this time!) and I am picking up some `street` Japanese (honki - are you serious?! How street!). My pre-date nerves were intensified by the sense that I was entering an exam I hadn`t prepared for, but once I was in the car and he pointed out Britney on the i-Pod I felt more relaxed. He pointed out some local sites around us and on the sat-nav, such as the local high school (think back Block H) and the electric company and we managed to relax in the necessary silence until we were able to volley Raju`s electronic dictionary back-and-forth without risking a head-on collision.

Dinner was nice too (nabe and sashimi to begin, followed by omelette, rice, rock pool soup, beef stew and an asparagus and tomato gratin) and Yoshiko-san, one of the receptionists, nearly fell over backwards when she heard he`d actually cooked for me (he also washed up - I offered and then retracted my offer!). Another teacher pointed out he was from a different generation, but I feel it bodes well. He`ll make someone a great shoohoo one day. Still, I have let it be known he can take me out for French food, should the urge take him. All in all it was very nice, and he`s still very cute (sometimes I wonder and have to check), although I would personally never wear a cardigan on a second date.

Mayuko-san brought me some perfume back from her trip to Paris, which was lovely - and my gratitude intensified when I saw it was actually men`s cologne and she`s saved me having to fret about getting Ryu-san a birthday present for Sunday! Well done her and her flimsy English.

I saw Mount Fuji for the first time today. The skies are amazing here at the moment - vivid blue and as wide open as a bright spring morning. Beyond the mish-mash of temporary houses, the mountains peaked on the horizon, with one disappearing into a mass of cloud - that was Fuji-san. It was incredible.

Bursting my Brit-speaking bubble

After a good week (I have adopted George`s habit of rummaging through refuse and found pirate copies of Friends series 5 and some American films, including A Clockwork Orange, by my rubbish point; Takashi-san confirming our trip for Nikko for next Sunday; giving Ken another lesson in exchange for Sapporo; praciticing my Russian with Eto; and deciphering Ryu-san`s texts correctly), I have had a really shitty day: almost everything that could have gone wrong did. I attempted to get to work extra early so I could plan and then learn some rude Japanese (the swear words just stick easier somehow!), I gave the rapid service a try. I asked in stuttering, but understandable, Japanese if it was the right train for Kitamoto and was told it was. The woman I asked even checked with other commuters and I was shuffled onboard. On the train, I could barely read the no smoking sign for the fumes and gave up reading my book for fear of eyestrain, so gazed out of the window; as the rice fields and nothingness shot past, realisation dawned and I found myself whizzing towards the next big commuter town - a bad 3o minutes away from my desired stop.

I had to call head off and `fess up to my boss, who was remarkably calm considering it is the third time I have been late to this school. As I explained my original intention of getting their early was sabotaged by over-eager Japanese trying to find me a train, any train, he laughed and asked what was it about me and Saturday mornings. It`s certainly nothing to do with me and Friday nights. Last night I stayed in and watched the Japanese version of Dark Water - now, that is a scary film! The American version is a cartoon in comparison. No one can do sinister and threatening in quite the same way as a Japanese child with hair combed over its face.

Once I got to the next stop, I only had a brief wait until the next train, but things were still going wrong. My shoes have fallen off every time I`ve approached a train today - they gave me blisters in England, but here they won`t stay on my feet. If this means I can buy native-sized shoes, I won`t complain, but I`m guessing I`m not so lucky. I accidentally turfed a student (Minako, my women`s rights campaigner) out of a lesson 15 minutes early (although it did mean I got an unscheduled toilet break and she was quite forgiving once she discovered that political demos were a hobby of mine - if anyone would like to post me articles on domestic abuse or women`s rights, it might just help me soothe her further). I also keep dropping things and making baka mistakes. I said I was baka (stupid) in a kids` lesson today (the ones pictures with Kasumi in her kimono last week) and three of the girls started trying to give me a massage. It is a shame it was too weird to let them continute. I am not sure how 8-year-olds get to be good at such things, but they were.

On the bright side, I have stolen some teabags from the internet cafe (even in England I couldn`t justify Assam, Darjeling and Earl Grey), recruited a 3 year-old Bear Cub (so I get to play with him in what`s now a class of two and therefore a bit easier and get GBP2.50 into the bargain!) and have lined up some extra teaching work for January - it`s an extra GBP25 for a couple of hours each Sunday and condoned by the boss. It will mean quite a few early starts Sundays and therefore early finishes on Saturdays, but that shouldn`t be impossible - and as it`s just free con, I can probably manage that still pissed.

I am missing my CD collection. I have some and also cadged a free copy of Kanye West`s latest album from another teacher who was commenting what a pointless gift he`d received as he already had it (it was begging the begging), but am desperate to hear Wichita Linesman, Forever Changes and (Charlie, I hope you are reading this - it is an ideal Christmas gift for me, easy and free - Usher `Caught Up`. I am so street since I moved Streatham...). I do have a Ken Hirai unplugged amongst my free videos, although if it is actually that I don`t know. I tried to watch Charlie`s Angels and found Southampton vs. West Brom.

My nice ADoS left yesterday, which is a shame, he is brilliant in so many ways (except handsome - now I am in Japan, I am perpetually prepared to fend of match-making). I stormed into the office in an unreasonably bad mood because the grammar book I had my eye on had been bought by someone else (or put aside by the shop assistant when my card failed to work the previous day, but I couldn`t express this to the new assistant), and asked if he knew anywhere decent near Head Office. He asked what I wanted and filled my arms with Japanese reference books. It should only be a couple of years before Cherry Boy and I can communicate effectively... Because of the saving he made me, I have invested in Making Out In Japanese, so I can encourage or dump him, accordingly. Aside from saving me money, Matt will be a genuine loss. He`s sweet, funny and very smart. I did try to tell him I appreciated having a boss who is a decent and good person (I have generally had them, but it doesn`t mean I don`t feel lucky!), but when I relayed the story to Karen she made it sound weird... Ah well, Omiya`s loss is Singapore`s gain.

The news in Japan has been quite grim lately. An architect forged data so half of Tokyo`s new hotels and apartments are not seismic-safe (maybe not half, but he did have a hand in a fair few projects) and a young girl was abducted and left to die in a cardboard box. The news is very gossipy and tells you things you wouldn`t expect to hear in Britain. It also has lots more vox pops from the locals and those affected, although the brevity of the subject matter is undermined by the Japanese not being able to not smile when on camera. Widescale media training is in order. I may have found myself a new niche.

Better go. Tonight I am giving myself a crash `date Japanese` course in preparation for tomorrow night. I already have `you`re attractive` `more` and `absolutely not` jotted down ready... Next week I will learn more sensible and sociable phrases with the fabulous, and almost fluent, Takashi-san.

So much for the holidays...

For all I`ve ever told people about teachers getting great holidays, Shane are doing their best to refute that. Today was a national holiday and most Shane teachers had yesterday off too, but myself, Karen, Steven, Erica and a couple of others had to spent our time in follow-up training. It`s been quite useful, but having to switch to a regular 9 to 5.30 schedule is a strain now we`re used to 12 - 1 o`clock arrival times. It was also quite painful spending time with one of the newer recruits who couldn`t help trying to bond by bitching while the trainer was speaking. She hasn`t done much to win herself over: on top of grumbling over the senior management of central Tokyo`s main office; she has also snubbed other teachers knocking on her door to introduce themselves, but giving herself away by huffing at the inconvenience; and, having been introduced to George as one of Pamela`s new friends, sent back a bowl of chips as too measly a portion and demanded more. Karen, a master of diplomacy, has put her general gripes and unpleasantness down to naivity: I think Karen is too generous.

The romance with Cherry Boy is going well. Or at least, is amusing. Having remembered him trying to decipher a cigarette packet health warning during our meal, I am praying we can find a film to go to this Saturday evening. I might even sit through something Japanese if it looks pretty. His text messages are inspired. If there is no other reason to date a native, this is good enough for me. His `Thursday was generated by a meeting at 5am`, he `is a bottle baby and his parents` house is a sake shop` and, having spent yesterday evening drinking with a friend until 4am, `today is a hangover... [he] is unpleasant`. Sean, a fellow Shane employee who is also dating a low-level English speaker, got the best `I sleep but I do not gain knowledge`. Utterly profound, Mai.

I can feel the tentative prickles of homesickness coming on. Takashi-san warned me on Sunday that it would be three months after arriving that it really hit home and I think he`s right. I am really enjoying it here. Everything is great, I am enjoying work and feel quite settled, but I miss having close friends around me and people to confide in. I`ve met some nice people and one or two that I would genuinely like in the real world, but it is hard to live up to what I left behind and conversation is still sometimes stilted or censored, rather than being ramblingly natural as it was at home. I have a sense of impending doom as I think this feeling will get starker soon.

Great-o date-o

Well, the date-o went well. I managed to meet the fabulous Takashi-san for coffee before heading to Saitama Shintoshin to meet Ryu and staved off most of my usual pre-date dread. There was a brief moment when I wondered if he was already waiting for me and I just didn`t spot him, but a very handsome, well-dressed young man waved in my direction and all my fears dissipated. Prematurely, it seemed, as the Brothers Grimm was sold out, so we went to see Dark Water instead. It was a later screening, so we had to kill time after we bought tickets (which, I was amused to spot, were placed quite near the back row) and then went off to navigate an introductory conversation via my pocket English-Japanese dictionary. The dictionary wasn`t up to much and the meal was more like a Lower Elementary lesson "what is your favourite sport?" "I like to swim" "Rearry? Me too..."

After the meal (a very garlicky, but good Italian with real forks and everything), he suggested a game of pachinko, which Takashi-san and I had previously discussed and both been proud to not have played. Ryu-san then took me to his office, which had a showroom area with pachinko and slotto for us to play on. Pachinko, if I understand it correctly, is a terrible form of gambling. It`s just rubbish: random pinball with masses of ball bearings flying around going in no direction in particular. Slotto is slightly better, just like a small fruit machine. I was rubbish at both, Ryu-san was surprisingly impressive (in the sense that it is surprising I was impressed) at Slotto. I got a brief tour of his desk, where we had a nice conversation via a translation website and when I was caught gazing at a happi coat (a man`s small summer jacket) I was made to put it on.

The film was OK, although the trailer had shown all the terrifying parts, so it was tense, but far from rewarding. It also meant my mind was reset to English default and it took me a few minutes to even think of thank you in Japanese. He suggested we drive somewhere, but we couldn`t discuss where very well. He did ask `if I knew love hotel` but my tone was pitched rightly between `I have heard of such establishments` and `that`s not going to happen` so we went to his flat. He did have to call ahead to warn his flatmate, although he talked in Japanese, `I`ve got the gaijin with me` is fairly easy to hear. In his flat, we had another conversation via a new phrasebook, which I defaced by crossing out phrases like `what`s hanging` and `what`s cooking` and tried to teach them more natural greetings. Everything here is produced in American English, so I have quite a task ahead of me.

We watched Pirates of the Caribbean and he fed me nori and rice while laughing with Nao-san, his flatmate, and he told me I was his first gaijin date in a poor attempt to get me to put out.

The novelty appeal of being a gaijin does yield good results. I did once have the opportunity to date a model in England, but he lived in a squat and didn`t have all his own teeth. Ryu-san is far better and provides an extra incentive for getting on with my Japanese homework.

Kimono over

This season children`s longivity is being celebrated, hence the kids everywhere in kimono. Poor Kasumi was mortified to have to come to class in hers, and then the stupid gaijin got the camera out... Kie, the girl at the front, was my first student to cry. She got four out of six right in one of the exercises and couldn`t handle it. I am still bitter. It is lucky for her she looks so adorable; you can get away with most things if you are good-looking. Takuya, the boy, is a proper tearaway, always chasing round the class and laying on the floor. He`s quite brilliant!

This week was the Royal Wedding. The poor Princess has been cast out of the clan and is now a commoner: only Crown Princes are allowed to stay in the fold. Her kimono sleeves were very short, denoting her old age. I think I would need a strapless one if I ever had to get myself into one.

This afternoon I have a date with Cherry Boy and the Brothers Grimm. Last night, Ryu introduced himself to me as Cherry Boy because of the kanji on his t-shirt and soon came to regret it. He is very cute, with big doe eyes and, as an ex-model, is reasonably tall, but barely speaks English, so we are going to the cinema. He did manage to tell me I looked like Sandra Bullock, but this just proves how poor his English is. I am not sure of dating ettiquette, but last night he told me he was a pachinko salesman and earns a lot, although he hates it, so hopefully it will be his treat! I think we`ll make a good pair, last night in the George he had a drunken nap on the sofa and that pretty much clinched it...

Just another week at the office...

Poor Takumasu made the mistake of coming to class in his karate garb. He seemed to enjoy the impromptu shoot this provoked and posed without any encouragement whatsoever. I was aiming for a straightforward full frontal, but he had better ideas. He`s one of my favourite students. He is an Early Bird, which means he has better English than the book he has been put on, but needs to review some parts to catch up with the class he will join in the new year. It means I teach little and play lots. He`s a gem and, of course, incredibly cute.

I worry I might get bored of the cuteness of Japan, but it hasn`t happened yet. I am quickly being drawn into a world where adults it is not only acceptable for adults to have Disney toys dangling from pockets, keys and mobile phones, but positively encourage. Walt must have spun a triple somersault the day the mafia decided that his creations would be their symbol, thereby sky-rocketing the cool of Lilo and Stitch trinkets.

These two are called Nanaka and Reina and are also sweet and eager. When this is your job, that Monday dread of heading back to the office disappears in an instant. They were drawing t-shirts, socks and skirts and were beaming throughout the lesson. They only stopped smiling when I got the camera out.

It`s been a good week. I seem to have cracked my most difficult student, the belligerent Ryusuke who tuts, huffs and moans his way through class. I didn`t realise until I met him that 11 year-olds knew how to roll their eyes. He ingratitude has prompted me to put far more effort into preparing his lessons to make them more fun than I do for almost any other student, which may not be entirely fair or deserved given his attitude, but I suspect from how he flinches that things may not be entirely happy at home and the reward of actually getting him to look less surly is tremendous. Suitably, we bonded through music, that international ice-breaker. He was matching up some cut up sentences and started humming a pop song I quite like (though, obviously, don`t know the words to) and I joined in with him. He looked up, initially appalled, which melted into stunned and then he seemed to look at me as if I was human for the first time. Ah, a breakthrough moment.

Myself and Yoshiko-san, one of Shin-Shiraoka`s viperish receptionists laughed all day on Monday about Mayuko-san`s planned trip to Paris. She is still plotting to hide her destination from her husband, who thinks she`s off to Guam and has no interest in going along with her. She has packed a summer case of beachwear, but had to take a day off work so she could pack her real outfits when no one was in the house. She plans to say she rarely left the hotel, hence her lack of tan, and only show him photos of the hotel room, rather than the Louvre, the Palace of Versailles or any of the other splendid things she`ll be seeing in the French capital. It is the first time she`s tried to pull off such a plot. I hope she gets away with it so we can enjoy her next attempt.

My crate has finally been shipped. My winter coat arrived this morning, as did my trainers, some damp Russian books and a few spoiled and spilled bottles of contact lens solution. My Russian reader`s cover is fairly ruined, but at least now I can bring myself up from false beginner to accomplished novice again. It is amazing having gloves. Japan is suddenly cold. The air in clear and the cold cuts into you like sheet ice. It`s still sunny and the skies are beautiful clear. The air has a clarity I would not expect in such an unenvironmental place, but I miss having smog to bar the cold.

In case you`ve forgotten what I look like, this is me eating the dreaded natto in Hidako`s house (spot the real fur on the sofa, it`s perfectly acceptable to wrap yourself in dead things here). Natto is gross, but popular as it`s very healthy. It stinks like a dead man`s sweating yeast. The taste isn`t quite so bad, but my nose and mouth are not so far apart that I can enjoy such eating experiences. Another of my students claims it is her favourite food, but I cannot believe this. Either that, or she hasn`t discovered the caramelised potatoes I tucked into on Wednesday. Like toffee apples, but better. Strawberry Kit Kats aren`t bad either...

Show him the way to go home

Saturday night I had to see the landlord home. It was George`s birthday and he by 1.30 he was losing all signs of intelligent life. He donated my gift of a plastic St George`s flag to a more grateful small child and invited my boss to join us for a glass of wine, before weaving a journey five times longer than that taken by me and Matt DoS. He skipped off to raid a rubbish pile he has previously found a fully-functioning PC in so I skipped after him, while Matt stood with his bike like a bored father-of-two-stupid-children. At George`s flat, Matt and I attempted a stunted conversation (Matt has just been home for bad news and, knowing I shouldn`t refer to it, I couldn`t think of anything else to talk about) while George announced he was off to bed and audibly stripped and passed out on the bed. The partition which should have separated him from the living room and Matt`s line of vision was open and making Matt feel uncomfortable, so he left his glass of wine and pedalled home.

The next morning, George and I visited the Sogo pet department to visit Tony, a fish he has his eye on. We escalated up to the 10th floor (9th in English floors) to ogle puppies and puffer fish, but found Tony had been dispatched to another owner. George was quickly appeased by a mini Manta Ray with bright blue spots. Men are so fickle. He re-arranged some leather display dogs in the dogwear lingerie section into a compromising position and we left. After I left George, I bumped into Riaz and his girlfriend who gave me a misguidedly knowing look as I had so obviously not been home Saturday night. Their idea of my Saturday night is far more exciting than it was, although pulling George off the floor when he decided to have a lie-down in someone`s driving was quite thrilling, as you can imagine.

Later, Karen and I went to Ueno to check out tickets for an outdoor version of Othello. Sadly, I couldn`t afford itm although I was very jealous leaving her to it. I am sure there will be other plays. One of the men who works behind the scenes goes in the George, which is how we heard about it. Now he knows we`re interested, he`s bound to tell us about others.

As we were leaving the station, I was bemoaning my misfortune in not having my students take me out. One in particular, Yumiko, is a high school teacher and likes all sorts of good things. She was telling me about an exhibition from the Pushkin Museum she`s visited and I had later relayed this to George, who advised me to check out Metropolis magazine, which I immediately forgot to do. As I was explaining my desperation to see it, we saw, emblazoned across Ueno station concourse, a poster for the exhibition. It was in Ueno, so I got to go. It was curious seeing a collection of mainly French art (Gaugin, Matisse, Cezanne, Renoir) in Japan .There was even a previously unseen (by us) van Gogh. A painting called A Mother`s Kiss particularly moved me, but it wasn`t available in postcard form. I will have to limit my visits to Japanese museums and galleries; they have all the worst bits of European museums: five-deep throngs of Japanese tourists clogging up the routes and getting in the way. The more cultural Japanese seem far taller than your common garden version. We bumped into Riaz and his girlfriend, Tomomi, again and I made an apparent faux pas by comparing one reasonable izakaya to a slightly better one. For all Japan`s manners, it seems quite acceptable to just laugh in someone`s face. I intend to enjoy this newly discovered convention to the full.

Language barred

I am ashamed of my fellow teachers at just how impressed the Japanese are at my paltry and strangulated attempts at using their language. I have mustered `excuse me` and `thank you` a handful of times and the receptionists gasp. While they are often not a very sincere nation, their surprise is real.

The Russian was back at my Japanese lesson this week. She is called Vanya, I think, and was telling me how grateful she is that her daughter is not yet old enough to buy into Japanese consumer culture and demand and demand and demand, like her classmates already do. She is more than happy to make ill-fitting doll`s clothes and enjoy the time with her mother. Vanya knows it won`t last. We got hand-made Vietnamese spring rolls this week. A Vietnamese classmate brought in enough ingredients to feed a factory. The impoverished English teachers did their best to make up for the missing proles and polished off the lot. It was incredible - far better than the soggy condom of ditch litter I had in Watford a while back. Hoyosa-san is pleased with my `near-perfect` Japanese this lesson (she said it was actually perfect, but I think she was just trying to be encouraging). I can now say I am Mr Tanaka of Tokyo Electric.

One of the waspish receptionists at Shin-Shiraoka entertained me and the cover teacher with her plans to visit Paris for the December break. It is her third trip and her friend`s first. They are doing Paris, Versailles and other nearby areas in seven days by coach. I don`t know how her coiffure will stay coiffed in such conditions. Her husband thinks she is going to Guam and is has had to pack a dummy suitcase of beachwear to keep him off the expensive scent.

In the Sex Offender`s absence, I worked with Sean on Wednesday. He`s a very likeable Northerner (is that an oxymoron?!) who immediately announced his first five months were improving as he was suddenly getting lots of dates. When he announced `DATES`, I didn`t quite understand, which was niave of me. It`s why men come here. He did an intensive CELTA and also carries Michael Swan around with him like a green-arsed fly. Girls cried in the fourth week of his course.

I hate laminate flooring. My wooden floors drive up clouds of unpleasantness each and every day. No amount of dusting, hoovering or sweeping can keep up with the dust brought forth by the bare expanse. I am pining for something other than laminate, but is that just an invitation to asthma or should I worry about the amount of dust I produce?

I was unduly nervous for my second observation on Thursday and worked myself up into such a fretful lather I cocked it up more than I should have done (heard that one somewhere before...). My students also put the boot in by doing some of the exercises at home, how wonderfully keen, thereby sabotaging my carefully laid out lesson plan. Yukiko has had her house dismantled and it is in the process of being rebuilt else where (the Japanese are so literal, even when it comes to moving house) and so has no oven and I had no olive bread. I did get a fried apple pie, which was like a sweet spring roll. It was good, but my expectations needed managing.

What I miss most about England

Stussy and Toffee Crisps. And the news. I get the news here, but it`s in American and generally about finance. Gugh! And the Houses of Parliament. I wouldn`t mind a gravy dinner either, but I don`t think you can get Bisto out here. However, I am quite looking forward to my big bowl of udon for tea.

I think I may be getting homesickness. I am getting small pangs and wishing I was back there so Stussy could fall asleep on my chest and dribble. She`s getting old and I feel I should be there with her. Poor, old girl.

My date with Uriah was mediocre. He scoffed Western food and moaned about Japanese izakayas, thereby sealing his fate. He arrived with a Walkers-style packet of crisps, bought me Baskin Robbins ice cream (which was amazing, thank you!) and bought some cold, over-priced chips near the temple we re-visited. On the way back from the temple, he clocked a vending machine stocking Kit Kats and pounced. We spent some time wandering around Sogo and I galloped off dying from boredom and bother from needing a new haircut.

The hairdresser I wanted to go to (Mario of London, World Champions) did not take credit cards, so I had to try Earth, who were new, funkily decked out (with a VIP area, although I was not permitted) and also much cheaper. Sadly, they were just shutting, but I went back Friday, fully equipped with a picture of Phil Oakey I had sketched, should `shortto` and `cutto` no work. They would have, as did `asymmetrico`. I am feeling fluent. The hairdresser who spoke English was off when I went back, so I was informed by the floor-sweeper (who spoke the best English) that I could have my haircut, but there would be no communication. They won themselves a repeat client with those beautiful words. I hate being forced to converse with hairdressers. I generally have a hangover when I go to get a do, so want to just be left to sleep or read. It was bliss. My eyes were covered with a small cloth while I was having my hair washed and I was given a drink and some small sweets to keep my energy levels up while I sat and was worked on.



I had acquired my hangover in Riaz`s room drinking two small bottles of ￥420 wine and watching Harry Potter, which Karen and I thought too sinister for young children, particularly the bit that`s ripped off from American Werewolf in London. I was craddled to sleep by some small earth tremors, which I couldn`t be sure wasn`t just the room spinning until Karen confirmed it for me later.

I have a new student on Saturdays who I think will become my idol. She is called Minako, although referred to as Minataur by the wacky teacher I work with. He has lowered my opinion of himself by doing this. She is a divorced mother of two who is completing masters with a comparative study of domestic violence in Japan and Singapore, with a particular focus on the indirect victims of abuse; children who witness the attacks. She has travelled to Bangladesh to assist poor women attempting to educate themselves and her daughter, who is currently undertaking a philosophy degree, has helped build houses for the poor in Cambodia. As campaigners go, she was still fairly meek and polite, but for the Japanese to even mention such a subject is a considerable achievement. I congratulated her and we discussed the necessity of her rewarding work, her using the Amnesty site to practise English and rage some more, along with her love of musicals (particularly Miss Saigon and the Sound of Music) and her need to sing to give her life some ups to alleviate the downs of her research. The receptionist snickered when I said it was an impressive way for a Japanese woman to live her life. I want to befriend Minako, join her campaign and watch her sing.

Mum, could you give Stussy some sardines and say they`re from me please.

Getting Nippy

The weather forecast here cut to London on Tuesday and said that it would be raining there and in Honolulu. I hear winter coats will soon be handy in both. I wish I had my winter coat here. It`s suddenly very cold.

Happy Birthday Mum, for yesterday. Sorry I didn`t manage to speak to you. This time difference is a pain in the arse. I hope you had a good day. I`ll try to call you again later today.

I had another Japanese class yesterday. I felt quite proud of how I`d pretty much re-mastered the Hiragana alphabet (they have three, although two are basically the same, but with different symbols - just to keep you on your toes). Sadly, the `teacher` was disappointed with my progress and forgot she told me to learn the script and not stock phrases, so went through them stutteringly once, then covered them and expected me to remember. My memory has never been a strong point... A new girl turned up shortly into the lesson and joined us. Sarah, green as anything, been here two weeks, had three days training and just graduated. Bless her, she asked where I went to university, not realising I left six years ago. When I said, her chin hit the floor and she gasped `so you just decided at 28 to come to Japan?!`. I hate the young.

On the way out of class, I had to take the lift with five Japanese ladies. With me inside, it felt fairly full, but on each floor, it crowded with more and more Japanese. Even with men in the lift, I was a full head height above everyone. Oh Gulliver, at least the Lilliputians didn`t laugh at your massiveness.

The little things

Being in a foreign land can make you enjoy things you would previously snub: being whirled around in a jig to the Pogues by George; flirting with ugly boys; an acoustic version of the Thundercats theme tune at George`s open mic night; or hearing the loathesome U2 on the radio. I was positively excited to hear Vertigo. The world is upside down in Japan.

It`s still taking some getting used to. The Japanese have some funny ways. In a public toilet recently, one lady shunned the western style toilet in favour of the squat Japanese ones. The hand-dryers in the cinemas fiercely blast you with cold air if you manage to work out their purpose and where to put your hands (with their orange guidance lights, they look far more suited to a space craft than a cinema). After one of my lessons yesterday, the receptionist felt it fine to point out the mothers of my kindergarten class had remarked on how quiet my voice was (I had mimicked the students` shyness by whispering) for my figure... I also can`t work my phone. I`ve managed to guess how to listen to my voicemail, but can only understand `main menu desu`. I need to get a receptionist to translate for me in case I`m missing a crucial function.

Some things are no different. An ageing and unattractive man beckoned me over to him the other day. Having ignored Yoshi previously, I imagined he must be someone I`d forgotten from the George so went over. Oh no. He asked if I was from Canada or Australia, then if I spoke Japanese. Despite being told no to all these questions, he then blasted me with unidentifiable Japanese. I mumbled `wakari masen` and he repeated more slowly. This time I made out `kudasai`: please. He repeated again. `Date-o kudasai`. I always attract the best ones.

I`ve finished Obasan by Joy Kogawa, the book Ian gave me. It stunned me. I hadn`t been aware of the appalling treatment meted out to the Japanese Canadians during and after World War II, so it was illuminating, but also beautifully written. If you have the chance, please find it and read it. Thank you Ian!

I have had to re-arrange my date due to financial circumstances. I am being taken back to Omiya Park as it is the only place that is free in the whole town. Uriah has managed to annoy me without even meeting me by asking what time I`d like to meet and when I suggested 2 or 2.30, he then said 1. Why not just suggest that initially? To trick me into feeling like I have the control? When people treat me like I`m stupid, I can`t help but think they must be utterly retarded. It will be fun.

I experienced another small earthquake on Monday night, a tiny rumble. I think that`s six or seven now. It`s an odd feeling and one that`s far too difficult to explain. I am already quite relaxed about the regularity of them, although I have heard about teachers who leap under tables at the first tremor and are nonchalantly mocked by the Japanese who have been thrown around by far more powerful movements.