Finding Nikko

I had my most Japanese weekend this weekend, although the John Rennon museum, with its complimentary guide to Liverpool, was quite a poor start! Saturday night, my friend Aki, who I originally thought was American because of her accent and her English, took me to an izakaya for a Cafe Lamp English exchange bonenkai (end of year party). Her mother`s friend paid for us both because we were too poor and, having spent her formative years in the States, Aki is low on decent company. Even though he was of a lecherous age and appearance, he barely even requested conversation from us as thank you, which was handy. Unlike Elton, an improbably named Beatles fan, who tried to arrange a swim date with me within two minutes of his opening line and also suggested we go on a `pilgrimage` to the hotel the Beatles stayed in when they visited Japan. Elton is distraught as someone has seen fit to demolish the hotel next year, the 40th anniversary year of their first tour. Elton is a 40-something (I think - the Japanese age remarkably well, so I am even worse at telling ages here than in Europe, where people are leathered with age) and was wearing a Val Doonican-inspired roll-neck/round-neck sweater combo, yet he felt he and I were perfect for each other. He has offered to take me to Roppongi for dinner, but, aside from not knowing how he would expect me to express my gratitude (I think we can guess, but I think I have also deflected this nicely by telling him to be careful or I might think he was asking for a date), he spent a long time telling me I would look better with long hair and asking why I had short hair and if I was jealous of people with longer hair. I had planned on growing my hair, but these comments flare me up and make me want to get the shears out. My little favourite, Takashi-san, was also there, but I had little chance to speak to him in the izakaya and was too drunk to make sense by the time we karaoked.

After the izakaya, Aki and I somehow managed to get treated to karaoke by her mum`s friend (who, rudely, I don`t remember the name of! Lots of sake was consumed, so I don`t feel it is entirely my fault). As with everything else here, it`s bizarre. The singing is almost an incidental event, although the gaijin ignored this Japanese mannerism and put on displays, ruining everyone else`s conversations. Karaoke parlours have floors of small rooms you can book for your group where you pay an entry fee and then sit in your small booth phoning through orders for your all you can drink alcohol. As I got more and more drunk (Aki and I really abused the hospitality and over-ordered sake and lemon sours in the izakaya), I decided to give it a go myself, but Lord, is my voice flat! I ruined one poor boy`s attempt at Jeremy, although managed to sing the final `naa`s well and so it probably sounded like he was flat. Aki and I hijacked another gaijin`s attempt at the Chilli Peppers and Takashi-san and I closed the night with a weak version of Hey Jude. Aki and I were going to duet, but she rebuffed my request of Like A Prayer and I refused to do Like A Virgin. Somehow we still managed to drag ourselves to the George - I was doing most of the dragging, Aki passed out on arrival - and I woke up the next morning, an hour before I was due to meet Takashi-san for a cultural trip to the mountains on the wrong side of town in George`s spare bed. I must stop doing that!

I managed to sprint home wearing yesterday`s work clothes in record time, though sucking in the cold, harsh early morning air hurt my throat and I took too long recovering at home. I managed to pull myself together into a passable state and get to Shin-shiraoka to meet Takashi-san only 20 minutes after we`d originally agreed. He had hired a car especially for our trip and I felt quite hideous, both in terms of guilt and possibly throwing up in the temporary vehicle. I tried to distract us both from my shambolic state by asking about our surroundings - it was my first trip into the Japanese countryside and it was Takashi-san`s home so I wanted to appear interested. I spotted a strange, garish pink building at the side of a T-junction and asked what it was. An unfortunate way to put a 22-year-old boy on the spot: as soon as I asked I saw the times and the prices and realised this was another of Japan`s ubiquitous love hotels. I nearly did the same thing again when we passed another hugely conspicuous building, but managed to regain the sense to rein myself in. Why, in a country where the sex industry is such a huge, unspoken secret, make them so obvious? Such faux pas are bound to happen with a naive gaijin around. I can`t even be called naive and I did it.

Nikko, however, was breathtaking. It`s in the midst of some mountains and as you approach the landscape goes from East Anglian flats to huge scoops of snow-topped mountains. The temples are set in forest and a moutain river runs along the roadside as you approach. The temples themselves are impossible to describe. The intracacy and detail would be awesome if they were produced now, but that monks created this place hundreds of years ago makes it all the more impressive. (I didn`t even attempt to do it justice with my photos, though Takashi-san`s picture is very generous - this is not how I looked close up after three hours sleep!)

The temples are said to be the resting place of the sleeping Shogun, Tokugawa, and we had to climb 200 stone steps to reach this temple, the least impressive of the collection and, for me in particular, not perhaps worth the phobic sweats the guide-less steps provoked. I had to explain my irrational issues with stairs to Takashi-san, should I need to clutch onto him in a desperate panic. I managed to cope without, but may have dampened his pleasure at taking me by appearing to not wholly enjoy the trip. I may not be taken anywhere so fabulous again! The entrance to these steps boasts a famous sleeping cat carving, which would have probably done me just as well, and another of the temples bears the famous `Hear No Evil, See No Evil, Speak No Evil` monkeys. The local monkeys, however, won`t `do no evil` - they are apparently very vicious and I was warned to keep away from them. A warning I would have promptly ignored had the cold and snow not kept them at bay.

Takashi-san has also suggested we go to a hot spring, which I am tempted to do, although being seen by a student in my bathers is quite nerve-wracking, I must say! I may treat myself to a Victorian one-piece before I agree to that one.